In The Drivers’ Seat Again

There was a date with an asterisk mark in my journal. It must be a day with significance, I thought, so I looked back on that particular day:

On that day, it was written, I buckled in the drivers’ seat again and drove my way to church. Few things I had noted down on the small piece of paper. A note of thankfulness was also noted in the end as well, as in my mind. I could still recall that day.

in the drivers' seat again
In the drivers seat on a crowded road
Some of you might not believe, how crowded our roads could get, in the city we lived. On some days, it could take us a little less than an hour, to drive through some thirteen miles stretch. So, at a very slow pace, I tried driving in the driveways inside our locality before moving onto the next.

Again, I used this word, because I was unable to drive my car for more than one year. A series of long hospital stay had followed. Eventually, I also ended up in the operation table where amygdalohippocampectomy was done on me.

My God worked wonders, so I was able to drive on that day again. I am not trying to write down those pain and procedures I had endured during that time, to make it short.

Well, carefully, I drove to our church. No one knows the inside me when I reached our church. The person, who could have ended up in a decorated wooden box, was able to drive to the church on his own again. Few drops of tears were shed in happiness.

The Hymns, on that day, seems to have really connected with me and my Savior. My heart was filled with praise although I have difficulty in singing to my heart’s desires. That silent thanksgiving and prayers, in the midst of many, which filled my mouth were heart wrenching.

I had, thoroughly, enjoyed that short period of time I could sit inside our church. However, I had to make my way out from the crowded to a place where it is much quieter and calm.

It might not be as special for someone, as it was a normal thing to do on Sundays. But I was made able to sit in the drivers’ seat again so it was special for me.

God worked in so many ways, for His unworthy son like me that I feel blessed to have enjoyed His guiding hand in my so-called good and bad times of my life. Again, let my happiness and thankfulness be known to Him, in the highest.

Two more things, in my mind, I wanted to share with you:

In the drivers’ seat of my life:

In the drivers’ seat of life again means that I am able to take care of myself again, at some extent.

I did not enjoy those days when I needed to be accompanied and helped by someone, in every step I take. Toileting was one among them, which I needed help. There are good people around me, who could help me, from time to time. And I was thankful for that.

But, believe it nor not, toileting was a very private matter for a person. It was very normal and easy for a healthy person. Yet when you need help in these things in your conscious or semi-conscious state, it does not feel good at all.

What we consider normal could become a very heavy task to perform, when our normal body did not follow our commands. This was one of the lessons I had learned in the process. There are many things on this list.

Being able to perform our daily chores, at workplace or at home, was a huge blessing. Let us give thanks for all the work behind the scene, which our God had performed, so that we might lead a normal life.

Jesus in the drivers’ seat:

Putting Jesus Christ in the drivers’ seat would save us from many unwanted circumstances. But remember it does not mean we would be steered cleared of all the difficulties or adversities of life.

Being Jesus Christ in our drivers’ seat would give us comfort, even enjoyment, in our worst circumstances of life. His presence is more than enough in our lives.

Jesus Christ declared, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6)

It was, and also is, through Him that we would get to the Father. If we let Him take His place in the drivers’ seat, all will be well.

In my upcoming post we will talk more about Jesus in the drivers’ seat. Stay blessed!

A Reason to Love

We were observing our story time, one late noon, in our home.  All their home assignments were done.  We lie down while I narrate Biblical stories, repeating each time they’d requested.

“Papa, papa, I love you very much”, said my son holding my right hand tightly.

“I love you too, son.  Any special reasons….?” I replied feeling a bit curious.  At which time, his younger sister was already asleep in my left lap.

“I am happy when you are with us.  We really missed you when you stayed in the hospital.” He continued.  He was referring to a series of my long hospital stay sometime ago.

He also slept peacefully in my arm, after I had assured him that, if God’s willing, that would not happen again in the near future.  It, really, is a great privilege to feel the love of young kids.

Our Many Reasons:

Now, we all wanted to be love.  Also, we wanted to love all people, if ever, that’s a possibility.  However, knowingly or unknowingly, we set some reasons so that we could love a person and vice versa.

There’s no real reason to love.  Love today can vanish in thin air if you got so many reasons to evaluate every now and then.  It is not an obligation but a sincere heart has love deeply rooted in them.

It is easy to love a person with whom we have same interest.  In that scenario, it is unlikely that the other person might not bring harm nor inflicted pain, in any case.

What if I say, I am loved because I have to be loved, would you agree?  Parents have to be loved because they are our parents.  It is through them that we are introduced to this wonderful life.  Believe it or not, they tried their best for our upbringing.  And, they went through severe pain when they are unable to meet our needs.

Some of us love a person till they are able to meet their expectations.  If somebody loves me then they have to adjust or bear with me; that’s the attitude.   So many conditions we have set to love someone.  Yes, I agree that for no reason we can’t love a person.  But that reason should not defy our approach.

Should that be the case, there will be a time where love can become pale or inexistence.   The love of a mother and a father are timeless.  It is, always, abiding in nature.  It is a great privilege to know of such a love.

The more reason you try to gather the less you’d love.  Recalling your sacrifices more often the more you’d gets dejected.  The more you took pride in loving someone the less you would get contented.

Love comes from God

Love comes from God: We love because He first loved us. (1 John 14:19)  This is the greatest source of love.  We are loved so we know how to love, and we loved Him back.  And this love is hugely contagious.

Here please feel with me, in these short verses I wrote:

You First Loved Me

I still remember that feeling
That feeling deep in my heart
How can I forget the eagerness?
I am unable to hold any longer
I wanted to let it known to you.
When I realized, I have been loved.

You gave me Comfort
You gave me Hope
You gave me Love
Because you first loved me
Your son I had become
I love you Jesus
I love you Jesus, my Savior

Slain by my sinful soul,
Your sacrifice is overwhelming.
You rose from the dead
Victory over death you proclaimed
My wonderful friend forever be
In you, I will abide.

I am yours now
Have me all, have my being
Because you first loved me
Each step we take, together we will
One at a time, until we got home.

To Die Or Not To Die

As if in our hand, some of us tried toying with our life. When we hit rock bottom with no chance of recovering, we are tempted to think about it.

It might be unnecessary or unbelievable to even think about ‘to die or not to die’, but let us talked about it. The more relevant question must be the timing; now or when?

A year ago, I have my tryst with death too. For some hours I’d remain unconscious. It was not a great moment to recall the pain, when I become conscious again. But let me put a few here:

In that bout of my status epilepticus, I was given a chance to live again. All the things that worked together on that particular day cannot be a coincidence. The hand of God was surely involved, I would say. From the unknown vegetable vendor to all needed timely helpers and help I have received, it was clear that it was God who spared my life.

Seventy percent of patients who experience such episode resulted in death. It was written in the research paper I had read. I have made some research on my own about my illness. However, my doctors advised not to indulge in that process so I had deleted all my sources. If not, I could have shown you their findings.

Had I not regained consciousness I would have been dead, simple yet nerve wrecking. But I would be with my Savior, resting in His arms. People might say how unfortunate we would have been or otherwise. It’s just my supposition. Life, here on earth, will end there abruptly.

Purpose of Life:

I find no reason to boast or take pride in calling it our own life. It’s my life’, that’s how we called it often. We are not the owner of our life. God has a purpose in creating us.

Job, in the Bible, says, “I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted.” (Job 42:2) God’s purpose cannot be undone. There are many verses to show God has a purpose for every man. “The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out” (Proverbs 20:5). Insight, from God, is needed to find it out.

For a believer, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). Let me put it here about purpose of life. We wanted to talk more about the problem.

The Problem:

As I was recovering, my physical being was not restored at one go. It takes time to be able to leave the hospital. The pain, distorted eyesight, and other problems are not easy to bear. It is something normal to happen in life.

When something unusual happened: health not improving as we’d wanted, the unending financial crisis, our prayer not materializing, difficulty caused by choosing the wrong educational course, and many more, could makes us worry.

Many of us wanted to die instead of suffering more hardships and pain. But we should remember that to die is not the solution to everything. Sometimes, I also wanted to die, to take rest with Him, but I still have so many things to do; my purpose not yet fulfilled.

For those of us who lived with constant pain and difficulty, the journey could get challenging. But remember Jesus Christ is nearby you, watching you closely.

In our pain, He is pained. In our joy, He remained joyful. He wanted us to fight the good fight and overcome victoriously. In our suffering we are not alone although most of the time we seem to be alone.
When my purpose is fulfilled I would be taken home, even if I am not ready. So, don’t be tempted to die before the time comes. The time will surely come.

To Think About:

When this thought ‘to die or not to do’ loom large on your mind, take your time out. Remember our God is besides you when you endure that pain. Sometimes, He speaks but the Devil makes us difficult to hear.

What did Jesus Christ do when He was in the middle of His suffering? He had bore it all. Someday, our suffering will end. Someday, we will meet Him too.

Remember that Hope and Faith are to be use at its largest extent in our earthly life. Hope for good time to happen in future by putting faith on the Lord.

When you think you are no more valuable or no one values you anymore, remember there’s someone who valued you and gave His life for you. I am also in this suffering, from time to time, so I can tell you this.

Leave the matter to God. Let His will be done, even in our most difficult moment. It is my prayer that our God would sufficiently take care of us, even when it seems He is not working.

Again, let me end herewith the word of God, what Jesus Christ has declared, for you to ponder over:

“I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief (Satan) comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I (Jesus Christ) have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10:9-10 with my emphasis added)

Let us try to make the most out of our life. That, we might live joyously but not beyond the permitted limit.

Remembering Good Times

When I have time, I could spend few times maneuvering my cursor over my place of birth with the help of Google Earth. Our house was no more but I enjoyed viewing the place. I lived some 1500 miles away.

We dwelled in that big house at the time of my birth. And I spent my early childhood days in that place. The place still flourishes inside me. The big front lawn where we’d played soccer with friends, the tree shades where we sleep when tired.

There was peace and tranquility in the house. Those particular rooms where I cried and hide, which gave me shelter. I could recall so many good times happening in the house.

The surrounding unique configuration of the land, which I still remember very well. When in the morning, we would sit in the corner of the garden looking around the beautiful contour or landscape created by God.

‘Do you think God really work in minute details to create those beautiful hills?’ whispered a friend to another. We could get stuck there in the middle, pouring out our thoughts, one after the other.

‘Who can actually design it, except God?’ came in another argument. ‘Ooh! So it must be really Him’, we agreed. Those good times are remembered fondly.

We would sing, dance, and pray in the premises of our house, praising the Lord. I could recall dining, in our house, with many of our Pastors and Spiritual Leaders from time to time. Those were the days that would not come again. Even if that happens, we were no complete family anymore.

In that place, we have seen enormous amount of good deeds of God. We have been protected, well fed, loved, and cared. Through thick and thin we remained secured. Thus the fond memory of recalling brings joy.

So this verse in the Psalms came in my mind. It reminded us to remember the deeds of the Lord: I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. (Psalms 77:11)

We might not be experiencing the deeds and miracles of the Lord, like the Israelites. But looking back at your own life and past circumstances, I hope, you’d find at least something to thank God for.

Good times don’t easily come by, like a natural phenomenon. There is someone behind those times. What we called ‘natural’ is the handiwork of the Creator Himself.

Our house was no more. There was an ethnic conflict in the region few decades ago so we didn’t reside there anymore. The house was demolished. The nearby fields were submerged in water due to a dam constructed in the region.

But, I would say, it reminded me of the goodness of God. In order that we as children might have good times, God has been working entailing peace in the region. Our emotional needs were met through our parents and family members.

It is my hope that we all have special memories, which prompted us to thank God. If you don’t have it as yet, I hope it is bound to happen soon.

Personally, it was a great pleasure for me to be able to write this article as God really did work on me. I have the privilege of experiencing God’s good deeds in my life. Hard times are superseded by some good times.

Good times might not prevail all the time but it is good to remember the good deeds of God, as some of us dearly recall our childhood days. There is hope by trusting in Him.

His miracles of long ago are the assurance that He would lead us through in both the wonderful and disappointing times of life.

What a great joy it would be to dwell in the House of God!

The Lighter Yoke

It is time for them to learn how to carry a yoke. They had grown up. It can took us some time to let them mastered the art of plowing the land. At a very young age, we started working on our paddy field cultivating rice.

We used water buffaloes for plowing the land. They suited well in the narrow terrain of a paddy field, even in the slopes of the hills. In the process, we saved fuel and money.

They can carry the yoke at ease once they are trained. It can be difficult, for us and for them. They are more than hesitant to carry the yoke at first. Yet they never forget the art of carrying a yoke, even when they are being let off once the cultivating seasons are over.

Once they can carry the yoke, they become more valued. We did not want them to get drained of all their energies. They are fed in time and taken cared.

It was not about enjoyment, they are toiling in the field for us, their owners. It never was a sort of punishment to let them work, they are serving their purpose. And we loved them a lot.

Along the way, I had observed this: when they showed their willingness to work, their yoke seems to be lighter. It might not be lighter but they get treated well in the process.

Carrying a Yoke:

Carrying a yoke is inescapable in the life of these domestic water buffaloes. We have a purpose while domesticating them. It becomes a responsibility on their part.

We, humans, are bounded by yoke in our life too. Life in itself is a yoke. In the meantime, our yoke could be lighter. That’s a possibility. God, our Creator, would work out His divine purpose in creating us. But with Him, side by side, our life could be easier and less burdened.

Now, I heard some people saying; ‘accept Jesus Christ as your savior, your life’s miseries will disappear’. I am not denying it. (That is for another topic.) But here I wanted to focus on carrying the yoke with Christ.

The Offered Yoke:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened. I will give you rest. (And it doesn’t end there.) Take my yoke upon you and learn from me.” We have to carry His yoke. In order to really get rest or the miseries disappear, we had to be trained and mastered the art of carrying His yoke with Him.

It implies that we need to don a new yoke, which also means that all the burdened of carrying a yoke did not disappeared, in a fortnight. If His blessings are the main reason for letting Him inside our heart, we will not get rest! (Matthew 11:28-29)

Carry on the yoke with Him, the once burdened yoke would become easy and light. We will be carrying a lighter yoke, until that day we would be fully stripped off the yoke, in His heavenly abode.

Freedom from sin was attained once we let Him into our heart. But from that day onward, we are continually afflicted by the work of evil.

Affliction came in different form. The synonyms of affliction are: suffering, distress, pain, hardship, misfortune, adversity, sorrow, misery, and many more. These synonyms are, in one way, the forms of affliction.

These afflictions would harm, and caused us pain, but they are on the side of the defeated group. The head has been crushed but the body still moving.

Our yoke could be lighter by being with Jesus Christ. There could be some big burden to carry while on the run. But the offered yoke could be attained from time to time, even if it seems hard to carry with Him all the time.

To the Lighter Yoke:

Sometimes I feel my yoke is too heavy to carry on; the family obligations, health not improving as desired, the under-performing investments, and the likes. But I am blessed to have moved on the lighter side of the yoke too.

It is my desire to learn and mastered the art of carrying this yoke. To really take the yoke offered by our Savior: The transition period could, sometimes, takes time. That is emptying self for the Holy Spirit to take over. However, it is an achievable goal, indeed.

Switching over from the heavy yoke to the lighter yoke can calm tense moments. We have our free will to do it so. There is a verse in the Bible which encourages me a lot.

When we feel deeply burdened let us focus on this: “For My yoke is easy and my burden is light,” declares Christ Jesus. (Matthew 11:30) Let us exchange our yoke so that we would feel lighter.

Bethel: House of God

He had to leave his family. His brother might kill him. He had to keep safe from his brother. He was a trickster: he had tricked his brother and father. He was untrustworthy, greedy, and on the run.

His father had opened the Gate of Heaven for him. His father had connected him to the Gate of Heaven. However, he was yet to see the Gate of Heaven, all by himself. The time has not come as yet.

After his own treachery, he must have been lonely, afraid to face the judgment of humanity. May be, meeting with God, only God, would help him in his situation. He needed to prove that he was worthy of the blessings bestowed upon him.

He hoped to reinvent himself far from home. Panting on his way, he ran not to look back until he reached a safe distance. Darkness has descended on his way. He was tired, exhausted.

He looked around, found a flat stone, and used it as a pillow. He slept there and he had a dream. In his dream, he saw the angels of walking up and down stretching from his makeshift bed to the gate of heaven. The Lord talked to him in his sleep.

“Surely, the Lord is in this place. And I was not aware of it. …….This is none other than the house of God; this is the Gate of Heaven” he said, thrilled and afraid. (Genesis 28:16, 17)

Yes, Jacob, the son of Isaac, the grandson of Abraham, it was him we were talking about.

In his most unlikely phase of journey, the Lord met him. He renamed the place, the city of Luz, as Bethel. Bethel meaning, ‘the house of God’ in Hebrew. In other words, Jacob was saying ‘God is here!’

Here, in the life of Jacob, we wanted to reiterate the omnipresence of God and meeting him. In his later life, Jacob even wrestled with God. He was a man whom God met often.

Looking around the world, men seek God and found God in their most unlikely situation. In loneliness, poverty, sickness, or let’s say, in difficult times, men seek God more than before. To those who seek Him, He really gives them comfort that the world cannot give.

When our life was sailing smooth, we sometimes, do not need Him much. Yet He was there taking care of us. God is everywhere but we have some special place to talk to Him.

For some, it might be that lonely Prayer Cabin. For some other, it might be their Place of Worship. That quiet Washroom in the corner might be the place for some to talk to Him. We are blessed to be His sons and daughters, by the blood of Christ, who can talk to Him anytime anywhere, more than to our father here on earth.

Our Bethel:

My father and mother led us to a place of prayer when we are young. I remember my father spending long hours inside the prayer cabin. I used to wonder what my father was praying for. Why my father could spent long hours inside the cabin? By now, I could understand the joy of spending time there.

In our difficult times, when something troubled us, father led us to the prayer cabin – the place he called as our Bethel, to let know the crisis to God. Although our problems did not get solved instantly, we can have peace of mind in everything when we are done visiting our Bethel.

We might not be blessed as Jacob in our Bethel but we can really rely on Him. Many of those unwanted events; our business not taking off, the crop failing, and many more, lead us to seek his presence in our life.


At some point in our life, we wanted to reinvent ourselves. How we try and reinvent could be different. But reinventing without meeting our creator might not be meaningful at all. Reinventing without God would be worst than before when we fall.

Surely, there is someone who’d meet us in any circumstances. That Bethel – the House of God, could be in our heart.

Even when we did not notice God is here with us. Leading us on our path or making us fall for our own benefit.

In that very quiet place, in that pit where we fall, in that hopelessness, we can hear His voice: Giving us the will to go on as long as it takes, till we meet Him face to face.

Our situation might be better or worse than the Biblical Jacob but in everything He is here with us. In the face and challenges of life, we will not be left alone. We could enjoy meeting often because He is here!

“I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you’”, declares Christ the Lord. (John 14:18)

Jacob was never left alone throughout his pilgrimage. The Lord, he met on his way, was always with him.

Voice of the Pilot

In the summer of 2015, with a heavy heart, I’d boarded a flight on my way back home. I was heavy-hearted because I am back from attending the funeral service of my dear elder brother’s departed soul.

My mother dropped me to the local bus terminal. She reminded me to not indulge in unwanted thought and assured she’d be praying for me.

When I boarded the flight from Dimapur Airport (DMU), the pilot welcomed us. The pilot assured us of a pleasant flight in his hoarse voice. He was talking after taking few breaks, it seems.

It was a pleasant flight till we stopped at Kolkota Airport (CCU) for allowing some passengers to join us. It rained very heavily.

In the meantime, the pilot apologizes for the delayed take off. After a brief wait we take off heading towards our destination New Delhi (DEL).

Upon nearing our destination, sudden jerking of the plane can be felt inside. A likely squall from the nearby Thar Desert region seems to be causing turbulence in the plane.

a pilot in the sky
An aeroplane in the sky

We, passengers, are in panicky-mode when we are told to calm down and wait for advice from the cockpit. We waited. With the turbulence being still there, it is more than difficult to remain calm.

Passengers young and old are demanding update from the pilot in that short, long, span of time. No update was received as expected. Instead the flight stewards are trying to calm everyone on board.

The pilot’s voice might not bring good news, we don’t know, but still we wanted to hear his voice. That’s when this line crossed my mind, ‘the pilot who hardly speaks’.

In moments of distress, we wanted hear some voice with authority, at least, from time to time. But the pilot did not do that. He might have his reasons but we don’t know!

Then, a voice was finally heard. We are diverted to take landing in the nearby Airport available, as the condition did not improve.

We made a U-turn and headed towards Lucknow Airport (LKO), where we did refueling of the plane. There we landed.

Again, it is time to wait for the voice. Personally, with my health not in its best, it was difficult to endure such kind of journey. But I have no choice in hand.

Darkness has already descended. The four hours, approximate, traveling time has been doubled. When we first boarded the flight we did not expect this to happen.

Again, we take off and reached our destination New Delhi airport more than five hours late. We were tired and exhausted. But finally we deboard the plane and we will be home, soon.

Let me tell you why I narrate this journey:

It has great similarity with my own life. The usually empty heart, the unexpected turns, and U-turns. Always needing a guiding voice. The insecure heart!

In our journey of life, there is a pilot. The journey cannot and was not always pleasant. We can be empty, tired, and exhausted due to different and difficult circumstances. I am also one of them.

Many times, we wanted to hear a voice which assured us to go on even in unwanted circumstances. The voice of the pilot of our life – Jesus Christ, was unheard. Especially, when most needed.

But His voice not being heard does not mean He is not there. Yes, sometimes He remained silent. He might be silent because we did not pay heed to Him. Or, may be, He has far greater plan beyond we can understand.

As long as Jesus Christ is there in the cockpit, He will lead us home. He will not leave us midway.

U-turns are a possibility. Personally, when I tried to settle down the way I’d planned, I was made to take U-turn in life earning zero. But since He is there, I have hope.

Even if I did not take off from my present situation, I will meet Him one day and all my questions will be met. That voice, I longed to hear again in my journey of life.

Should there be a necessity to crash in my journey, my pilot knows what’s best. I know my pilot. Did you? Will you?

One day a voice will call our name to be with Him.