The Lullaby Singer

“Papa, sing me a song. I can’t sleep,” said my children. They are requesting a lullaby that I used to sing.

So, I get near them and sang lullabies, making my voice as soft as I could. Before I know, their body softens and they slept peacefully. It works like magic. And I enjoyed every bit of it.

It is a good time for building strong relationships. A good time to cherish that someone in the world really enjoyed your presence and voicing around them. It is a great privilege, being able to do that, I would say.

Wait, what is a Lullaby? A lullaby is a song to lull young ones to sleep. While its primary objective is to put young ones to sleep, the wordings could be a reflection of the surroundings, happenings, and cultural perspectives.

You don’t need to be a good singer in singing a lullaby. It is rarely accompanied with musical instruments. The tune and words can be easily modified to suit what the Lullaby Singer wanted to express. A certain cultural traditions had their own wording and style of singing though.

Love is the ingredient of singing a good lullaby. It is a good way of shaping young thoughts, assuring our love and security being their parents. With certain modifications or my modifications, this is one example here:

Sleep Baby Sleep, My dear darling Baby
Oh my dear baby I love you, sleep baby sleep.
Your Papa and Mummy loves you, sleep baby sleep
The angels are watching you, sleep peacefully
My dear baby, I will always love you
Sleep baby sleep……..

You can keep on adding words and verses, till your baby slept or till you are done with expressing your love. Sometimes, it can be in the form of a story too.

The Lullaby Singer could easily thrived in any kind of society, be it modern, post-modern, pre-modern society. Even in the age of technology, we are still raising human not robot or some programmed character.

Reminiscence of our childhood, a lullaby could bring back. The love, of my parents and grandparents, easily flashback in my minds. They would put me in a handmade cradle or carry me in their back while singing a lullaby gently.

The soft patting on my backs and their back becoming softer and more comfortable as the lullaby proceeds, are my favorite childhood memories. I believe you have your cherish moments of the same experience.

Recalling those precious days; we lived in a village nearby the hills. When darkness was about to descended, Foxes barking or screaming from the nearby foothills can be heard. The hens panicked and rushed inside their pen. May be inspired by this, here is one lullaby, I could recall:

Sleep, sleep, baby sleep
Before the foxes scream, sleep my baby
If you don’t sleep, vixen might come
Oh hungry vixen! Leave my sweet child alone
My child, my love one, I will not let you take him.
Sleep baby sleep….and so on.

Since the foxes and vixen screaming were common, we felt happy and secure in our parents’ arm. So, we would easily fell asleep in their arms.

From this lullaby we, young ones, can learn that we are valued and would be protected. Our love for our parents also grew stronger.

A lullaby is useful in many ways: It can be a medium of feeding our best love and wisdom in their tender minds. It can be a great moment for building strong relationships. They will remember your very words when they grow up.

A lullaby could be a channel for passing on values. The values we wanted to focus depend on us. We can emphasize on the Love of God, our love for them as a parent, what we expect them to be, our culture and our traditions.

That is why, I say, it is a great privilege to be the Lullaby Singer, to my young ones. It made me felt valued, in a way.

Just as I still remember the lullabies of my parents and grandparents dearly, they would recall my Lullaby. By then, they would know what I really wanted to tell them at that time.

The Unforgiving Heart

At length, I tried to calm her.  All my tactics are squandered.  She was unhappy and not enjoying my presence.

At last, I got upset.  I let her be herself.  She still did not show any sign of happiness.  I waited for the time for everything to come back to normal.  I don’t know what her heart wants.

I have no work.  I did not work anymore.  I could not afford anything for her.  But I want her to be happy being with me, which seems to be too much to ask for.  It is difficult.  I am helpless!

She came to me.  She felt wrong, may be sorry.  I am still upset.  I have an unforgiving heart!  I was envious of her attitude.

Let me tell you that I am talking about my two-year-old daughter and me.  We were having trouble today.  I don’t even know how it started.

She has forgiven me.  She was upset no more.  She was smiling bright at my very face.  I need to be happy too.  But I can’t change suddenly.  Slowly, I became happy, seeing her smiling face.

It seems weird, and it is, to most of you.  I’d wished I can be easily happy like her, on many occasions.  It is a very good thing to learn from my child; an intoxicated heart.  Most of all, her forgiving heart, naturally.

However, I am well past that age, I said to myself.  I don’t know if it’s only me.  I have that Unforgiving Heart.  I wanted to forgive and forget, at the least forget many of my past life.  It is not easy.  It simply came back in the most inappropriate time.

It is one of the devices of Satan.  And Satan did take advantage of it. (2 Cor. 2:11)  That is why we feel the pain.

Innumerable times I’d asked God to help me in the process.  And I still am.  Since, it is an infighting that had taken a toll on me.  Most of time, I feel free from the clutches of these sinful practice.  But once, it came back it is harsh.

Love your enemy, the Bible tells.  They are not my enemy but I cannot love them.  I want this phase to pass soon but it has its purpose, which I did not know yet.

Should I be able to express and spit out as easy as I could, I’d hoped it might help a lot.  Most of life’s occurrences are stored inside me.  But when that store room was cleansed there’s no joy that can be compared with!

When the spirit worked inside me, letting Him fully taking control of me, the heart is at peace.  God has forgiven my sin.  So, should I truly be forgiven I must be able to forgive others.  As I said, it is a spiritual battle that needs to be fought every now and then.

“Father, forgive them.  For they do not know what they do.” Jesus Christ pleaded the Father. (Luke 23:34)  Because of this prayer we lived till date.

In Him, we can forgive.  In Him, we can forget.  It is so sweet to trust in Jesus Christ.

Forgiveness can helps us. (Matthew 6:15)  In order to be forgiven, we should forgive others.

This is one of the lessons I’d learn as a Dad.  Still struggling many times yet will overcome with the might of the Holy Spirit’s indwelling in the heart.

It is a battle to conquer the Unforgiving Heart like mine.  I didn’t know yours.

Let me end herewith this verse from the Holy Bible:  “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (Matt. 19:26)

Voice of the Pilot

In the summer of 2015, with a heavy heart, I’d boarded a flight on my way back home. I was heavy-hearted because I am back from attending the funeral service of my dear elder brother’s departed soul.

My mother dropped me to the local bus terminal. She reminded me to not indulge in unwanted thought and assured she’d be praying for me.

When I boarded the flight from Dimapur Airport (DMU), the pilot welcomed us. The pilot assured us of a pleasant flight in his hoarse voice. He was talking after taking few breaks, it seems.

It was a pleasant flight till we stopped at Kolkota Airport (CCU) for allowing some passengers to join us. It rained very heavily.

In the meantime, the pilot apologizes for the delayed take off. After a brief wait we take off heading towards our destination New Delhi (DEL).

Upon nearing our destination, sudden jerking of the plane can be felt inside. A likely squall from the nearby Thar Desert region seems to be causing turbulence in the plane.

a pilot in the sky
An aeroplane in the sky

We, passengers, are in panicky-mode when we are told to calm down and wait for advice from the cockpit. We waited. With the turbulence being still there, it is more than difficult to remain calm.

Passengers young and old are demanding update from the pilot in that short, long, span of time. No update was received as expected. Instead the flight stewards are trying to calm everyone on board.

The pilot’s voice might not bring good news, we don’t know, but still we wanted to hear his voice. That’s when this line crossed my mind, ‘the pilot who hardly speaks’.

In moments of distress, we wanted hear some voice with authority, at least, from time to time. But the pilot did not do that. He might have his reasons but we don’t know!

Then, a voice was finally heard. We are diverted to take landing in the nearby Airport available, as the condition did not improve.

We made a U-turn and headed towards Lucknow Airport (LKO), where we did refueling of the plane. There we landed.

Again, it is time to wait for the voice. Personally, with my health not in its best, it was difficult to endure such kind of journey. But I have no choice in hand.

Darkness has already descended. The four hours, approximate, traveling time has been doubled. When we first boarded the flight we did not expect this to happen.

Again, we take off and reached our destination New Delhi airport more than five hours late. We were tired and exhausted. But finally we deboard the plane and we will be home, soon.

Let me tell you why I narrate this journey:

It has great similarity with my own life. The usually empty heart, the unexpected turns, and U-turns. Always needing a guiding voice. The insecure heart!

In our journey of life, there is a pilot. The journey cannot and was not always pleasant. We can be empty, tired, and exhausted due to different and difficult circumstances. I am also one of them.

Many times, we wanted to hear a voice which assured us to go on even in unwanted circumstances. The voice of the pilot of our life – Jesus Christ, was unheard. Especially, when most needed.

But His voice not being heard does not mean He is not there. Yes, sometimes He remained silent. He might be silent because we did not pay heed to Him. Or, may be, He has far greater plan beyond we can understand.

As long as Jesus Christ is there in the cockpit, He will lead us home. He will not leave us midway.

U-turns are a possibility. Personally, when I tried to settle down the way I’d planned, I was made to take U-turn in life earning zero. But since He is there, I have hope.

Even if I did not take off from my present situation, I will meet Him one day and all my questions will be met. That voice, I longed to hear again in my journey of life.

Should there be a necessity to crash in my journey, my pilot knows what’s best. I know my pilot. Did you? Will you?

One day a voice will call our name to be with Him.

Raising Human

Parenting, in other words, is raising humans. It cannot be an under-performing job. More than a job, it is an obligation or duty for betterment of mankind, on a larger scale.

In my younger days, I am part of raising several domestic animals. They get matured in no time. They cannot exercise their thinking power like we do. Humans are more complicated.

Not all-wise people raised a wise person. It can be challenging yet enjoyable. Challenging, in some way that, raising a human with right values among the hugely distorted world of values, could be disheartening. Enjoyable, as we are raising our own young ones to secure a good future for us and for them.

One day, our young ones will become young adult, young leader, and succeeded the world we left behind. If we FAILED to deliver at our job, we would witness chaos in every sphere of life. Should we live long, we will suffer along with them witnessing humankind denigrating.

If I raise a good human it implies I have a bright future ahead, despite the tumultuous world. The same way, if ‘we’ raise a good human then ‘our’ future is bright, as a whole. There is no empirical formula for raising human, and I knew it too.

There is hope since we have time with us. Moreover, the Almighty Father would find worthy soul, if enough, to spare them. Yet majority would already suffered by that time.

When I started as a Stay-at-Home-Dad, I have huge hope that it would be enjoyable since I will be spending all my time with my loved ones. In that way, it is enjoyable. But my work, my job of being with them carries a huge obligation for the future of us.

Blessed in a way, I have gone through several books on parenting before I got mine. Experience of successful parents, kept in mind I started. Books, written by experts and family enthusiasts become handy in raising them.
However, one can never be a perfect parent that too I had learned, in this short span of time.

Studying psychology of children with simply giving the required Input can never be enough in reality. Humans cannot be programmed. There are insurmountable cells inside the human body, which could not be simply tamed. Humans are created in the likeness of our God, but the Creator being Superior, remember that.

It is important to stick to one side in inculcating ‘Values’. Right and wrong: we should be able to say what is wrong as wrong, not compromised, as with right values. That means we should have our standing ground firm and bold. If failed, family values, faith values would keep depreciating day by day.

Should the values keep on depreciating, our world would be heading into a catastrophic situation. Look around the present world and its leaders; do you think they possessed real moral values? They too had their parents. However, most of them tend to downgrade the moral values as a whole.

Challenges are in abundant. But with God, He can multiply our little efforts in thousands. With humans growing in large-scale, evil did grow too. Complete safeguarding is in the hands of the Lord.

Raising human is a task that cannot be completed without the might of God. Should we take everything into our own hand, it will not lasts long. We might give up mid-way due to too much stresses, it is a possibility. As huge as the task could get, it can get be enjoyable through the way, I repeated.

In the Garden of Eden, the Lord God kept Adam and Eve with clear instructions which must be abide by them. Satan wanted to destroy a family-the powerhouse of raising human. Some give-in some fight it out!

Smiling: Showing Happy Face

smiling beauty
Smiley: everyone loves to see
‘Papa, you are not smiling!’ exclaimed my little daughter.

She was in her playing mood, imitating people she has seen. These are precious moments for a Stay-at-Home-Dad.

‘Ah! You caught me, dear! I am sorry.’ I replied.

She came forward pulled my cheeks to let me smile. She did it. And she was happy. A face shines while smiling.

‘Umm-uh, you’re handsome, Papa!’ she continued. She made my day. I gathered all my expression and showed her my charming smiling face.

She was chattering and chirping all around me as we played. She was energetic and excited the whole day. And I try to smile more often. We grab teddy bear and make his faces as we like.

What had happened to me! I said to myself. I am not unhappy but my smile did not show out. There was no change in my facial appearance. I am smiling inside of me, just for me only, it seems. I easily get lost in my own thoughts.

My jaws are tight and my facial muscles hardly change. Except for the serial twitching of muscles near my eyes. That too, not a good sign although it ended by itself most of the time. It is uncomfortable at times.

Everyone gets relief to see happy faces. It is a good practice to show our happy faces at least. It is not costly and may be the cheapest way to help others.

My son came home from school. He was happy to show me that his Ma’am (teacher) gave him a smiley sticker for his class work. That’s the power of seeing a smiling face. With words of my praise, I also pat him and smiled as bright as I could. Both of us are happy!

Some of us can lose our smiling face on the way. The reason varied for each person. It might be due to illness, grief, unable to handle responsibility, busy and hectic schedule, and the likes.

But once awhile, it would be a good practice to take time off and smile upon all our difficulties. Reflecting on the good things in our lives so far, less we lose our smile too.

Things have changed a lot. We lose some we gain some. Balancing act in life needs to be maintained.

Wearing a smile on our face is a powerful weapon in dealing with circumstances of life. Smile back to someone at least once a day, not the fake smile of those trained persons.

There are fake and genuine smiles too. A genuine smile can be ease other’s minds. It can change their day. However, a fake smile simple adds to their woes.

A smile can be contagious too. When someone in the room wears a genuine smile it can spread all over the place. “A cheerful look brings joy to the heart; good news makes for good health.” (Proverbs 15:30)

Even in our workplace, we are told to smile often did things with a smile regardless of the situation. (Ephesians 6:7)

Let us try to retain our smiling face. You can join me in regaining a shining face and kept me encouraged.

Smiling is the unique quality or expression possessed by human among all other creations.

Keep Smiling!

Piece of Cotton in My Pocket

There is a piece of cotton in my pocket. My pants’ pocket, actually. Friends, colleagues, professors, and some persons noticed. Some are curious while some of them who saw me using it told me I am being careful.

Piece of cotton in my pocket
Piece of cotton

During our first year in the University we met many new faces. Being new to each other, we wanted to know people more. Our eyes easily spotted if there is anything unusual. A guy knew I had cotton in my pocket:

‘Where did you hide your syringe? You must be using drugs.’ He told me straight
in my face.

‘Uh-huh, that’s not it. My nose bleeds anytime. So….’

‘That’s weird,’ he said. ‘Sorry bro!’ he continued.

‘Yeah, but I needed it every time I was out from home. And that’s alright.’ I said.

Later on, I have come across silly and weird questions not only in college campus. When I started working, same thing happens few times. It is normal with me.

Fresh blood oozing out from any part of the body can never be good. So I’d consulted doctors for treatment, which easily derailed my time-table as a student.

In medical term, it is called Epistaxis, which means bleeding from the nose or blood draining out through nostrils, in common language. It can be due to several factors.

For me, there is no specified time, it happens anytime anywhere. The best thing for me to do is to get ready and quickly take care of it myself. That is why I always kept cotton in my pocket.

Many times, I had to walk out from class. I had to rush to the washroom. Put cotton in my nostril to block outflow of the blood. I’d even attended the class with cotton in my nose.

It can be painful at times. When there’s too much blood being blocked inside the nostril it can entered our mouth too. It was a very disgusting experience to taste blood unwillingly.

As far as possible, I do not want to miss anything because of my nose bleeds. I refused to be let down. I simply hope that it is just for a phase and will cease to happen in the near future. I try to be as normal as I could. Using public transport can be troublesome but I have no choice.

‘I am fine.’ I said to myself. ‘Lord, You see this so you will take care of it,’ I murmured to God because I feel He was with me the whole time. At times I felt dejected though, and the more I murmured. But I am not actually blaming Him in any way. Just acknowledging Him.

The same happened at my workplace too. Sometimes I’d posted or updated unwanted ‘Facebook status’ in my wall. I was criticized. It was annoying for some people.

The irritations, the embarrassment, and the pain can, sometimes, nullify my positive approach. But in His abiding grace, He led me on. It has been going on for several years like that.

‘Dear Lord, help me not to missed putting a piece of cotton in my pocket,’ I used to pray.

Why not pray for the problem to end? I questioned myself. But at times, this nasal bleeding led me closer to God so I simply don’t want to let go. It makes me wanting for His Abiding Presence and Care in my everyday life. So it let me talk to Him more.

There is a phase in life, which need to just pass by. The waiting is hard though. But I was happy I’d earned like people although there is bigger problem in store for me at that time-My Epileptic Disorder. It is just a matter of time for my neurological disorder to get diagnosed. That is for another topic.

In case you missed my points, here are some of the reasons behind writing this simple piece:

The first time ever I thanked God for creating COTTON came because of my nasal bleeding. It makes me think of the importance of His creations.

As I said earlier, some difficulties in life makes us closer to God because there is none like Him. He is always there although we put Him mostly as our last resort.

The holy Son of God bored our sins as dirty or red as crimson, He made them as white as wool, Isaiah had mentioned. (Isaiah 1:18 NLT) The very pretty white piece of cotton became useless when covered in blood. However, we get cleaned in His grace.

The piece cotton in my pocket gave me comfort. But it is God who let it stop the bleeding. In our difficult times, we get comfort in His abiding presence.

At least, I have clean cotton with me. I am always thankful. I have seen cotton cultivation and it is a long process to have ready-to-use cotton with me.

Let me end herewith all adversities can get us closer to God or part ways with Him for eternity.

My Lost Spanner

Fall season for the year is about to end. People started harvesting rice from their paddy fields.

When the harvest season is approaching, it is time for servicing of our old and very small, Rice Mill Plant. For machinery work a “>spanner always become handy.

For starters, a spanner is a tool with openings or jaws shaped for gripping or turning nut or bolt. It comes in different sizes and numbers as the nuts also comes in different sizes.

a spanner and a ring
A spanner: for reference

For some machinery, there is a particular number or sizes, which fit with most of the nuts. And we stored these tools in wooden tool box.

Let me tell you something that happened in my early teenage days:

One morning, my father told me to inspect our field, where we grow mustard for its leaves and seeds, located in the vicinity of the hills nearby a river. We started growing mustard plants in the onset of winter.

I readily agreed, as I know he would be busy with machinery work during the day. I pleaded that I will ride a bicycle to the farm. Since the road can be bumpy with no proper road, my father doesn’t seem to like the idea. It is for my safety as our bicycle can develop a snag during the ride.

I kept pleading hard. So, I was allowed to go, using our bicycle. I took one spanner with me so that if it develops a snag, I could easily mend it.

My bicycle ride was smooth that day, until I accidentally lost control and hit a rock on the way. My cycle really develop a snag around the headset adjoining the front forks. I tried to tighten it, and alas, my spanner’s gone!

Where is my spanner? My father would need it during the day! I keep searching up and down the road but unable to find it! I had been warned about this! I am sweating despite the morning cool breeze blowing gently.

With a heavy heart I went back home. “Whoa! You’re fast!” said my daddy. I tried to gather my composure and smile back. “I saw you taking a spanner with you. Now, please give it back I am going to need it,” continued my father.

Feeling guilt-ridden and helpless, “My friends borrowed from me as we met on our way,” I said. Father said nothing but he helped me get ready for my school. He assured that he would manage without it.

The whole day I had been thinking about that spanner. What if I didn’t find it back! What will I say to my father? The thought kept repeating the whole time. School was not fun today!

When I came back from school, I tried to not come face-to-face with my father. I felt very guilty. But just when I was about to enter our house, father called me!

“See, what our neighbor found on our way to the farm?” he said. And that’s my lost spanner.

He told me that our neighbor went to get some mustard leaves for soup after me. He found the spanner in a bush on his way. Further, there was some damage to the crop and I did not inspect the farm this morning.

The truth was out in open! It was expected. I am unable to hide it. I was proven guilty! What now?

“I am sorry. I was lying the whole time. And I am tired. Forgive me, please?” I could barely manage to utter these words with my choked voice. I was filled with tears.

Father held me in his arms tight. “You are forgiven. Don’t do it again,” he said rubbing my head gently. And we prayed to God for His forgiveness.

A moment had passed when I regained my composure. This time full of joy and gaiety – free from my guilt-ridden heart. I regret not having confessed early before school. It is hard to spent time with a heavy guilty mind. My day could have been so much fun at school, I said to myself.

I wonder how my father could have forgiven me so easily. To which he replied because I am his son!

It is not easy to live with guilt. It can be devastating. Guilt-free life I wanted to live. It is good to confessed and reconnected with God every now and then.

We have a father who always loved us: A father who art in heaven yet His abiding presence felt all over the earth!