Who Will Welcome Me?

Our Pastor welcomed me, amidst the congregations, as I attend our church’s Sunday Worship Service again. Almost a year had gone since I last attended. It really was a great privilege for me being able to go to church again.

When he gracefully asked me to stand, calling on my name, to welcome me; it brought an ineffable merriment deep in my heart. My heart knows, very deeply, it was only by the grace of God that I am able to set my foot in the church, on my own.

So when my name was called and I rose to stand amongst my fellow churchgoers, my heart pounded with joy. These questions filled me, instant and warmly: Who will welcome me when I get to heaven? Will I be there when my name is called? ……. I want my Savior to richly welcome me home when my life on earth’s over.

Although I wanted to leave it behind as of now, here I’ll give a quick look back at what had happened two years ago:

In the last quarter of 2015, I have developed unwanted health problem for which I was hospitalized for three long consecutive periods, each lasting more than three weeks. The second installment of my hospital stay witnessed me underwent brain surgery, just before Christmas that year.

In the third installment, I was rushed into the hospital in an ambulance. My loving God graciously spared my life this time although there’s a possibility of me going home. Since I already wrote about these experiences, I wouldn’t go into details here.

These episodes in my life left me to stay at home; caring for the damage caused during this period. That is the reason why I am unable to attend our church worship services, on Sundays, for almost a year. However, I am blessed to get enough verses, from the Bible – the word of God, while in my hospital bed. I’d read and re-read during this period.

A Rich Welcome:

2 Peter 1:11 reads, you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Only those of us who are saved by the blood of the Lamb are entitled enter the eternal kingdom of our Lord after death. While this offer is made for all, it is limited with certain terms and conditions.

Welcome to the universe
Welcome with open arms: for reference purpose only

We should make every effort to add goodness, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, mutual affection and love to our faith. And possesses these qualities in increasing measure, we’ll be productive and not stumble on our way to the eternal kingdom. More importantly, we should be cleansed from our past sins.

Just as the Prodigal Son was welcomed by his father, we’d be welcomed by our Savior should we faithfully follow Him. When his father saw him, he ran to his son; threw his arm around his son and kissed him. His servants brought in the best robe and put it on him. (Luke 15:11-32)

This time, in heaven, it would be a white robe, which shone bright in the presence of the glorified Lamb of God. We’d assemble joyfully joining the angels with our savior as our mediator. And the God of hope would fill us with joy and peace.

Deeply Missed Welcome:

My father, who welcomes me home every time I visited home, was no more to be seen here on earth. I can still remember his welcoming words, the place he would stand, thanking the Almighty Father for keeping us safe.

He always wanted me go home straight, without lingering on the way bothered by relatives, extended families and friends. ‘Set your heart on our humble dwellings – our home,’ father would advise us. Our worldly home doesn’t offer much but it is here in this place, we find a loving heart.

Then the day came when my father was no longer to greet me. Emptiness stung my heart. But his words remained to console my grieving soul. For he told me, he had a father who lovingly saved his soul and prepare a place for him.

When the thought of my father resting in the arms of the savior crossed my mind it gave me peace. Yet I deeply missed even his mere presence.

Musings on the Heavenly Welcome:

There are times when I ponder over the grand welcoming awaiting us. The privilege we have in the blood and promises of Christ. A day, which will surely come, when we enter our eternal being.

Have you ever thought about it? It is time we get ready. Do we need to worry so much about our welcoming? No, but we must be certain where we’re headed, confidently.

I cannot say much about the grand welcoming as I’m still here like you. But I have hope that it will happen in the near future. Here are some musings of mine:

How will they welcome me, when I got home?
Will I be there when they called on my name?
Yes, my name’s surely in the Book of Life.
Worn out, suffered, in the valley of death
Who will welcome me in the gate of heaven?

When I cross o’er the other side of life
Will they call on my name as I stood there?
Would my happiness worth the pain
That day; Savior will wipe my tears away.
Would I regret not having shed more tears?
What joy to be saved by the blood of the Lamb!

What would be my welcoming words before Him?
Will He say, Come in, worthy servant?
What will happen when I see His face?
Will I simply stand shamed; empty-handed?

Would the desire of my heart be completely filled?
Oh, how I long to be there!
I wanted my sufferings be rewarded
Afflict me more, would I say in regret?
The crown, would I be entitled?
Oh, who will welcome me?
I want my Savior to welcome me!

© 2018, Thuam Siam Ngaihte. All rights reserved.

Imperfect People

Imperfect people are real people. Real people lived in the real world. And I am one of them. As long as we live in the real world, perfection cannot be attained; yet we must have hope, and for the best.

We grieved, suffered, heart-broken, pained, flawed, inferior, unfit, below standard, and felt incomplete. It is because we are imperfect people living in an imperfect world.

People wanted to overcome our adverse moments with ease but somewhere down the line our imperfection popped up. If and only, we’re in our own strength, we’re heading nowhere. The unseen work of God, behind the scene, only keeps us going.

It is natural that we have this longing for triumphing over this imperfection. We wanted to shine; be an example, leading a victorious life. In that pit of imperfection we may fall, yet it can lead us to discovering the meaning of life, should we rise again!

Imperfect Innate Being:

My father had taught me certain Christian values, which would keep my soul and body safe from the work of evil. I wanted to be a perfect boy at least by abiding with the rules of the house. Yet, sometimes, I ended up the opposite.

When I wanted to do good things, many times, I ended up doing what I hate. I want to live a life that pleases God and people around me. When we happen to make a hole in that imaginary boundary wall, we feel guilty.

Guilty-driven life has to be rescued with love. And many times I was rescued. But the thing is; the more you wanted to perfection, or at the least near perfection, our imperfection desire cropped up again. The saying, ‘rules are made to be broken’ holds true in young lives. And we have to fight the good fight, always!

Imperfect apple;  defective
Imperfect fruit in the midst; defective-for reference only

Imperfect Body:

We possessed an imperfect body, which is susceptible to pain, developing wear and tear, as we aged. Some become healthy while some battle for life since their very conception.

Several people had gone through the knives; developed a never-ending pain, scarred for life, and need consistent care. Yet some people had complete bones, organs, and hole-less skin, throughout their life. Still, they go through pain and hard times in some period of their life, which might be harsher than physical pain.

We are imperfect people waiting for perfection in the glory of the Lord. We are God’s good work in progress. We eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body. (Philippians 3:20, 21)

Imperfect Character:

I have no skill for interpersonal relationship with people. Handling relationships with persons near and far have always been an uphill task for me. But I am glad, there are enough people who still love me albeit my imperfections.

Decisions taken in our imperfect periods had led us to unwanted pitfall and hard times. Some are scarred for life, as our decisions followed by actions, once taken cannot be repealed. For many, it’s just that tiny ‘yes or no’ moment, which bugged our life since.

My tongue is a small part of my body, which is the hardest to be tame. We can hurt someone without talking much; it is the quality of words we spoke than the quantity, which really matters. A small spark from our end can set a great forest on fire. (James 3:5, 6)

I may write about forgiveness yet I struggle to forgive others. It requires the work of the Holy Spirit. When somebody hurts us we wanted to bounce back. From our imperfect mind there’s hardly anything which is subtle and mild for others.

Some of us know the ways of getting closer to God but hardly act upon it. We are slow to make decision when it matters most. Our acquired wisdom did not make us perfect rather it filled us with pride and self-esteem.

Hiding Imperfections:

We all tried to hide our imperfections. In this materialistic and unrighteous world, it is a good practice to conceal our imperfections, at some level. If not, we would have no respect and adore for people’s personality or character.

Our ways of determining our imperfections is when: we don’t have money, losing jobs, unemployed, unable to support our family, chronically ill, unable to maintain our status in the society, leading a lowly life, self judgment, many more. And when our hide-out is no more safe.

But we cannot conceal anything before the Lord, our Savior. We may lead a messy life yet God knows it all. Some of our lives are too messy that we might want to give up. However, our God accepts us, should we go to Him, despite our imperfections.

Trading Imperfections – On the road to Perfection:

Some two thousand years ago, our Savior has flag off a new bogie for us, towards the road to perfection. Since then, millions had boarded, some are on the road, while faithful and holy people had made it to perfection, in His abiding grace.

On the road to perfection many get healed while some are made to wait for glorious revelation. We get delivered from our imperfections in His abiding grace; our sins and chronic illness gets washed by the atoning Blood of Christ.

In His act of Salvation, we are once again connected with Christ. Therefore, we have hope of trading our imperfections as we headed towards becoming a perfect person in His abiding love. It is the greatest hope for the imperfect people.

Our physical imperfections, appearances, scars, and adversities can be our stepping stone for building a strong and lasting bond of perfection with our Savior.

Christians are not perfect people, they have their imperfections too. But we are heading towards our road to perfection, in His abiding grace, when we humbled ourselves before our Savior.

On that day, when we met Him, we’d trade our imperfections with the complete perfections of our body and soul. We’d trade our sorrows and tears with joy and happiness. Our savior will wipe away our tears, which are shed because of our imperfections.

© 2018, Thuam Siam Ngaihte. All rights reserved.

Hold On To What You Have

‘Take it easy, hold on to what you have,’ they encouraged me, ‘we’re here to help you.’ As a young child, we’re learning how to swim in the nearby river bank. For a learner, it takes tons of hard work to stay afloat in the water. When I try to swim, I sink fast, for few days.

They, especially my elder brother and friends, sometimes my paternal uncles, assured my safety in any case. They will not let me drown; and I know that too. But when I have very few or nothing to hold on to, it was disheartening.

We don’t have floatation devices in the countryside where we lived. We learn it the hard way, I would say. Sometimes we pushed each other in the water to test our ability, yet help is ever ready.

In no time, I have to master few techniques to hold on to; less I will get drown or become a laughing-stock. At least, I hold onto what I have and stay afloat, before I could swim as fast as others. It was a very wonderful experience indeed.

When in water, without any floatation devices, it requires consistent movement of our hands or leg to stay afloat. Since the viscosity of the water body is not large enough to keep us afloat, we need few works on our part.

By the time I have something to hold on to, I could move forward to swimming although it takes courage and lots of movement of the limbs. In due course I mastered the art of swimming. Now, just a flickering my legs can keep me stays afloat.

Should I give up before I could swim, whatever the reason it might be, I’d blew my big opportunity of enjoying swimming especially with friends. And it would be shameful as we lived in small village nearby the river where almost everyone can swim.

A duckling swimming
A duckling; learning how to swim

What Do We Have To Hold On To?

Now, if I am to hold onto something, first, it’s important to know what I have to hold on to. There should be something worthy of holding in our journey of life. While our material possession will depreciate with time, our values in the eye of our Creator stay the same.

In more than three decades of my life, I really have nothing in this material world. I possessed very little to none. What I have earned are used up in no time. Now with no job at hand, I’d accumulated no wealth. Those insurance policies I have purchased during my working days are either surrendered or discontinued.

Moreover, my health concerns me a lot. Yet I have been on to the path of recovery, I hope, which makes me happy. A little bit of broken brain but blessed to have functioning brain; that’s a privilege not all could have!

There’s something more than just being healthy-wealthy and rich. Well then, there’s nothing worth talking about our materialistic possession which is worth holding onto. I don’t know if you agree or not.

Sometimes we have to count what we don’t have, at the same time, what we lose. It is more important now, for me. This make us appreciate what we have and value our very small or even none possession of anything viable.

Should I count them earlier, what I can really hold on to, it could have been more. But still I am happy, for those I have lost and what I gain. I can lose some since there was a time I have some.

I have the love of my family which makes my living very beautiful. And there are these good friends I’d met and had at some point of time in my life’s journey. I must hold onto them. The beauty of life is that honest and loyal people around us don’t need maintenance for holding onto them.

I treasured them, yes! I don’t want to lose more; less I may fumble. I wanted to hold on to them. In their love my heart finds peace; in their care, my life’s needs get sustained.

With so many intrusive and influxes of unwanted or unwelcome occurrences, it is my priority to hold onto, and together, my family. If and ever I could do that with subtlety, which will require a certain amount of wisdom and intelligence with strong fervor of love.

I shared you mine so that you can have a glimpse of what you have, in your prosperous or collapsing and depressive life. Further, I will go onto the vital feature that you and I must hold onto. Let’s hold onto what we have or don’t have for whom: For us, for our-self, and for our Savior.

Hold on until I come:

Now let’s get onto what I really wanted to convey here: I really don’t have anything to hold onto except for the salvation I had in Christ Jesus!

Except, for enduring some pain, poverty, and adversities there nothing much to boast about in this material world, for me. For some of you suffering souls and recovering souls, it might be the same. Although we have our own ways of suffering and withholding several tests, there’s hope.

Our God had seen us. And He knows we have little strength. Yet we have to hold onto His name and not deny His holy name. We are promised to have victorious crown should we hold onto His command and endure patiently, in the name of Jesus Christ.

“I am coming soon,” it was written to the Church in Philadelphia. “Hold onto what you have, so that no one will take your crown.” (Revelation 3:11)

We aren’t demanded more; we should hold on to what we have faithfully. Holding on to His salvation we have attained though our Savior will be sufficient for securing a victorious crown. Nothing more than that! So we all have our chances, we still have something to hold on to.

“Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches,” He added in His revelation to John. If not, we might have lost our victorious crown, on the way or in our journey, which is mention here.

In his first letter to the Corinthians, the Apostle Paul had stressed hard on the need to self-discipline. In other words, holding on to what we have. Here let’s read:

Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. (1 Corinthians 9:24-27)

There is Hope:

There could be moments in our life where we feel we have nothing to hold on to. Other time, we perform our task at hand with no specific inspiration. Some of us have our ‘Red Sea Situations’ too. But there is hope.

It will be a good way to remind each other of the promises we have in our Savior-Jesus Christ. I’m standing on the promises of God. There is a clear implication that deliverance of the faithful will occur in conjunction with His coming.

One day we will be duly rewarded and help is on the way, soon, very soon. When our sufferings and adverse situations loom large, we might be tempted to think as if we have nothing worth to hold on to: we have our Savior.

When the going gets hard let us not lose hope. The dark night will soon get over, if it’s His will. For everything there’s a purpose. Let’s hold on to what we have!

© 2018, Thuam Siam Ngaihte. All rights reserved.

Seven Ways to Measure Your Life

Without the ability to measure, it would be nonsensical and absurd to value anything. Our life is God’s good gift to us. In His grace, we are saved by our Savior; in His blood we become righteous.

Measure your Life
Measuring items for depiction purpose only

Here I list out seven ways or elements for you and me to measure our life. So that, we may lead a balance life, or in the least, a better life in the eyes of the Lord. And in the hope of sustaining our earthly life in the face of happiness and adversities:

1. Measure your life by your JOY regardless of life’s circumstances.

By definition, joy is the feeling of great pleasure and happiness. It can be permanent unlike happiness which depends on circumstances.

Joy is beyond facial expression of smiling and laughing. It is because laughing and smiling can be superficial. We are created to enjoy humor. Too much humor can leave us more empty than before.

The joy of the Lord transient all forms of happiness. For the joy of the Lord is our strength. Measure your life by the joy if you have in Jesus Christ. A spirit-filled joy or spiritual joy is permanent. We are made complete in His joy. (John 15:11)

2. Measure your life by your HOPE in the Lord.

Hope is an expectation and desire for something to happen; in our favor or as it was promised. It is clinging onto something which we did not have, yet in the hope that it will happen.

Our hope is something that cannot be dead. A person without hope would eventually give up life. It is our believe that something good or bad is going to happen in the future. It might happen per our dream or maybe not.

Anyone who is among the living has hope. (Eccl. 9:4) It is an important element for waiting on the promises of God. In His great mercy, we are given birth to a living hope in the resurrection of Christ. (1 Peter 1:3)

3. Measure your life by your FAITH.

Faith is the essence of Christian life. Faith, more importantly, is putting our complete trust in God. By faith we are saved; by faith we become His children.

Faith and fear cannot go along. Measure your faith by your assurance in Jesus Christ. Faith is the assurance that when fear grips, illness strikes, misunderstood, opposed, and in every circumstances: Jesus is with you.

Measure your life by your initiative through faith, your vision, and ability to fight the good fight. Faith is trusting on God’s perfect timing. (Mark 4:40)

4. Measure your life by your COMMUNION.

We commune with God through prayers. When you commune with Him make sure you hear Him back. We cannot carry on by simply offering sacrifices. God wanted to commune with us, I repeat.

Measure your life by how often you commune with God. Your communion qualifies you to experience the presence of God in your lives.

No one’s life is greater than his prayer. Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalms 37:4)

5. Measure your life by your INVESTMENTS.

Investment is a process of undertaking certain things with the expectation of a worthwhile result or to be profitable. Not only money can be invested.

Our life on earth is an investment. We will reap some of our investments already on earth. But the biggest reward is awaiting us after life. You can invest righteousness, kindness, love, good deeds, and tears for your future.

You can invest your wealth, wisdom, and time for your children because they are your future. God cannot be mocked nor bribed. A man reaps what he sows. (Galatians 6:7)

6. Measure your life by your LOVE.

Love is the most important essences of life. What you and whom do you love define your living. Love someone who loves you, and even your enemies, say the Bible.

Do you love something that deters happiness from your life? Love all the people around you. Most important is, Love God, no matter what. We can love God because he first loved us. In Him, love is completed.

Love given reflects love received. Jesus gives us a new command: Love one another as I have loved you. (John 13:34)

7. Measure your life by your amount of SURRENDER.

Surrendering is to stop resisting and submit to an authority. If the authority of your life is Jesus Christ it means surrendering to Christ. It is to give up your right for Him, to mold you.

In other words, it is to crucify our will before the Lord. Surrendering to the Lord could be dangerous, at times, but always worthwhile. The power of surrender/ crucifixion is peace and reconciliation. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. (Hebrews 12:15)

The more you surrender you will have peace with God, which will reflect in your life. In that way, our owner becomes Him. (Galatians 2:20)

Please add more to your list…..

© 2018, Thuam Siam Ngaihte. All rights reserved.

A Year Closer: Numbering our Days

A year closer to maturity in spirit and body
A year closer to reaping fruit of investments
A year closer to illness free life
A year closer to realizing our dreams
A year closer to see our children grow up
A year closer to see the joy of aging
A year closer to retirement
A year closer to end of an era
A year closer to see the joy of salvation
A year closer to complete restoration
A year closer to spiritual transformation
A year closer to experiencing new things
A year closer to any kind of hope we had
A year closer to the Future

The list goes on……

Take time and add some on your list too. When you still have time you can look back or look forward to improve, if you are still up and able to read this. When the time ends you have no more time left in you. All our time would be our past someday.

A new sun on the horizon
A new year, new day, on the horizon

In some way, peeking back at times that was gone, would bring forth a new hope, appreciating the time of our life. There will be tons of people whose year doesn’t go well, somehow, lost in the throes of life. A year is just a number. And a block of some years changes our perspective of living.

For me, at my personal level, the number of my hospital visits were trimmed down a bit. I did not set a single foot on Imaging Centers this year! Although I had to endure the pain and uneasiness every single day, it was worth living.

There are many times when my physical strength was unable to follow the mind. There are times when my physique simply drops in the corner of the room. The soothing pain is almost unbearable. But there is an upside; the feeling of gratitude after the pain subsides, it feels good.

Yet there are very few happenings in daily life. I was unable to lead my family in the forefront. It was difficult sticking to a dream. Simply clinging to the hope, sometimes, was hard to get by. There are times when the days are dark.

The best part is that there’s an upside to everything.

Being alive simply doesn’t end there, with the pains and adversities. The comfort of the Lord surrounded me, when in need. Tears of joy accompany such times. When I’m in the valley of wilderness His rod and staff comforts me. I feel blessed because I was not consumed because of His mercy.

The journey was more of a rollercoaster ride. The ups and downs are befitting as well as benefitting, at least to me, although there’s no light shining out from me.

In due course of time and my illness, I realized that I have no nothing: no good health, no wealth, no job, no wisdom, and no good quality you can look for in a man. Still then, the Grace of God sustains me.

Every year-end brought in some kind of retrospection in my life. Had my father not passed away, we’d be having an important talk. There are times we’d share our everything at those father-son talks. But that’s no more a possibility; they are a thing of the past now.

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom,” prayed Moses, the man of God. (Psalms 90:12)

In the preceding verses of His prayer, Moses talked of the frailty or fallibility of human life. There’s nothing much to value in this life, what we achieved is only by the grace of God. Life is like a new grass of the morning; but by evening it is dry and withered.

Each day is a gift, each year a bigger gift. Numbering our days rather than our wealth and achievement, in the midst of adversity, would bring wisdom to man. The kind of wisdom not found in the books of man but solely in Him, our God.

If God’s presence does not go with us there will be no point going on into a new year ahead. Yes, God’s presence will never leave us. His presence will go with us, and He will give us rest. (Ref. Exodus 33:12-17)

Let’s end herewith, the last four verses, from the prayer of Moses. As we move a year closer, let this be our prayer:

Psalms 90: 14-17

Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
That we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.

Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,
for as many years as we have seen trouble.

May your deeds be shown to your servants,
your splendor to their children.

May the favor of the Lord our God rest on us;
establish the work of our hands for us—
yes, establish the work of our hands.

Amen!

© 2017, Thuam Siam Ngaihte. All rights reserved.

Compassion and Hope: Renewed Every Morning

The same year I’d graduated from University I had seizure. To meet my immediate financial needs I’d started joining a private firm.

It was here, at my workplace, I’d suffered this unusual attack, which plagued my living since then. I was seized and my life-boat capsized. However, I just believe it was some jerking in my brain, which would soon vanish.

My preparations and night-long practices for my dream job had been hit hard. In some major competitive exams for jobs, I’d simply slept away. Yet by God’s grace I secured a job in the banking sector, which I quit later.

In between work, I’ve been juggling and roaming through corridors of several hospitals in the hope of leading smoother life but it wasn’t meant to be, may be, for the time being. Until several years ago, I’d started visiting the Intractable Clinics. I’d witnessed the moaning and giggling, in dereliction, of patients encroaching the corridors of hospital.

Everything happens for a reason; reasons unknown or known, that I believe because I’d experience the other side of life too. Some of those very embarrassing moments are better left behind and forgotten. During the course of time, I was not consumed by my captivator, here seizure or epilepsy, it is because God’s compassion failed not.

My family blueprint, which I’d developed through the years, could not be fully put into practice. The blueprint contained determined sources of income, administration, expressing love, tolerating each other, and holistic way of raising children, and the likes.

Through the struggles, life goes on. I went on to live a normal life, although illness persist, and get blessed in different ways. Sometimes, I termed it as an ‘illness that comes too soon’ mostly because I cannot see in God’s view at this time.

There are times, in between, when it is difficult to find meaning in life. Yet I was not consumed by the work of evil inside my mind because the Compassion of Christ gets renewed every morning.

Although I don’t want to admit it; enduring the pain and physical frailties throughout, was not easy. In the meantime, there are obligations and responsibilities, which can’t ever be ignored.

Compassion and hope among men
Compassion in the midst of suffering

His Compassions Fail Not

I do believe that we all have verses in the Holy Bible, which renewed our hope in the face of adversity. When in financial deepwater and health related issues, I was reminded of several verses. One among them is this:

Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. (Read lamentations 3:21-25) These verses has always comforted me and given me hope in times of adversities.

The Prophet Jeremiah had lamented during Jerusalem’s captivity. Chapter 3 of the poem mostly dealt with his personal lamentation on the issue of suffering and God. The compassion of God brings hope to those who seek Him.

When in captives the people of Israelites lived a troubled life. Jeremiah the prophet had witnessed the unfathomable misery of God’s people. The recent prosperity of Jerusalem has made their suffering all the more bitter. It is here in these verses a light of hope was shed again.

They are seized, held as captives by their enemies yet they are not consumed. The Lord was compassionate towards them. Again, let me reiterate here again that in their sufferings they are not consumed.

The Lord their God doesn’t allowed them to be fully consumed. Beyond their ability they get protected. In the hope of returning one day, they still lived on. Through His prophet he showed His compassion towards them in their sufferings.

My Renewed Hope Every Morning

After several years of suffering, I’d undergo Brain Surgery two years ago. The aftermath has been filled with pain.

I’d develop migraines, which makes me, very much, sensitive to my surroundings and the pain was sometime unable to bear. Being devoid of enjoyment in life is a huge challenge.

When I was rushed back to the hospital, it was not easy to endure the pain and shadowy images in my eyes. The day seems to be too long when you are suffering.

I waited for the night to come. I wanted to sleep. It is my hope that the morning would bring me something. Every morning my hope gets renewed.

In the midst of my physical frailties, it was good to have that feeling of hope. I still cherished that moment: when I am able to see the morning light. I’d prayed with huge hope of getting home soon.

All my wearies of yesterday are no more. The night has consumed my pain in the dark. A new morning has broken; a new hope has filled my heart.

The love, mercies, grace, and compassion of the Lord were renewed every morning. It was a glad moment to rediscover I am still alive to see a new day. It is all because of the faithfulness of the Lord.

“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “Therefore I hope in Him!” The Lord is good to those who wait for Him; to the soul who seek Him.”

In the face adversities, be it financial, health, relationships, His compassions fail not. The Lord gave me hope to carry on in this world.

That hope, at some extent, made living with epilepsy easier. Hope becomes one of the most important pillars of my life.

Living in captivity: a life seized, was not easy. Yet I have this hope that deliverance is assured; and surely on the way.

It was more of a reminder to trust and put my faith in Him, so I weary not. It was a learning phase although it’s difficult. The fruit would be sweet, one day, when the time comes.

It is my hope that He would provide, fulfill, and gave us hope in times to come. We will not be consumed in the process because His (God) compassion fails not! They are renewed every morning.

© 2017, Thuam Siam Ngaihte. All rights reserved.

The Fumigated Room

They have fumigated the place with certain chemicals. I did not enquire about the chemicals they used.

It was nothing unusual. It is a hospital so they are sterilizing the place. At first, my nose easily detects, for me, the unusual smell. In a day or two, I’d get used to it.

Peeking back, we were enjoying game time with our Church’s Children Department in a huge park, two days ago. My kids take part in some of the games too.

In that lush greenery of the park, all the participants were having best days of our life, or at least for that particular year. I’d never expected what is going to happen in the next few days. I had already written how I ended up in the hospital.

What is Fumigation?

Before I proceed further, I will tell you what is fumigation? Fumigation is a process of gaseous sterilization, which is used for killing of micro-organisms and prevention of microbial growth in air, surface of wall or floor.

In its Verb form, fumigate is to disinfect or purify using certain chemicals with fumes. In our life, we needed to be cleansed or get purified. The hospital rooms are fumigated so as to reduce unwanted infection, which would help in steady recovery of the patient.

In the Fumigated Room:

In one of the small hospital rooms, I was there lonely and lost in what to think next. Few years ago, I’d chose to stay at home with my children as much as I could. We’ve been spending good times with my children when this happened.

My children missed me. And I too missed them a lot. My wife must be tired trying to maintain balance atmosphere between home and hospital. It never was the part of life we’ve planned nor did we expect this to happen.

In that fumigated room, I realized human plans are worthless. Looking back at, what I called, my life I acknowledge my transgressions and I desired to be cleanse thoroughly. I desired to be fumigated by the Holy Spirit, and prayers ensued.

This fumigated room was never enjoyable. In my normal physical being I won’t be here. My bed was all I have. My steps, whether I am stepping out or not, were watched very carefully. However, it was a good place to ponder over the words of God.

Once I remember reading Psalms 51. Psalms 51 was a psalm of David when the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba. His ultimate desire to be clean again, to renew his steadfast spirit, and not to cast him away can be seen.

In Psalms 51, the writer wrote: Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions and my sin are ever before me. Make me to hear joy and gladness that the bones which you have broken may rejoice. Create in me a clean heart, O God. (Part of verses 2, 3, 8, and 10)

The unacceptable becomes acceptable, and the once unclean becomes clean in the blood of Jesus Christ. In the blood of Christ all things become new creation, for those who believes.

Refining Process:

Now, the rough phases of life and adversities, we faced in life, are the unlikely refiner’s fire in discipleship. There are times when we are unable to desire cleaning in our smooth daily life.

As the refiner puts his gold in the fire to get the best out of it, we too are, sometimes, put in fire to get the best out of us. However, the process might be intimidating and painful. That is because we are a functional human. When we are no more functional, it would be too late.

The refiner’s fire does not burnt indiscriminately. It does not consume nor does it destroy completely. It refines. It purifies. It separate out the impurities and leaves all the good values intact.

Should there be no night, we would not appreciate the day. We must partake of the bitter with sweet. And I know, it was easier said than done. But that is the harsh reality of life.

Dear reader, today I wanted to instigate the desire for going through that fumigated room or refiner’s fire. And to those of you who are still in that fumigated room, may you gain strength to endure the process. It is not sweet but I hope, it will be, later.

In the end, there is hope in the blood of Jesus Christ. It is our complete cleaning for our sinful soul, which reconnect us to our Creator.

Have my heart, O Lord.
Cleanse me from my sin.
Have the core of my heart.
Clean every room inside me,
Purify me, as pure as gold.

Restore me to the joy of your salvation,
I will sing of your righteousness.
My mouth will declare your praise,
Your will be done
In my life

© 2017, Thuam Siam Ngaihte. All rights reserved.